Burn them

There are always a couple of songs which are played on every occasion and are everybody’s favorite songs. There are times though when these ‘favorites’ start getting on your nerves. Since this is my space to rant, here’s my list of songs which need to be cremated. Cremated, not buried mind you, with burial there is still a chance of resurrection, but with cremation, the ashes will be flung so far away that hopefully they can never be resurrected.

Top of my list is “Hotel California” I am sure I don’t have to mention the band. The reason this heads my list is it is played at every party; it is every wannabe rock aficionado’s anthem. The operative word being wannabe. Yes it is a great number, it has great lyrics, it has great guitaring, buts it is also a great big bore.

All ABBA numbers. What is it about ABBA? I just don’t find their music interesting. Not even as a kid when I was forced to listen to it. I guess what also contributed to this abhorrence was listening to ‘Fernando’ ad nauseum every year for the annual music competitions in school.

“My heart will go on”- Celine Dion. No Valentine’s Day is complete without this number being played on every music and radio channel. This one number is definitely non- negotiable on the cremation front. Has to go!

“Nothing’s gonna change my love for you”- Glenn Medeiros Please spare me. I really can’t take this song anymore. I am sure I’ll burst into hives or something if I listen to this one more time.

“Summer of 69”- Bryan Adams I do like listening to Bryan Adams as compared to the numerous boy bands dotting the landscape but not this number. Another of those, that have to be played by every band and by every DJ at every party.

All Venga Boys, Aqua, Macerena, just burn them, erase all traces of their existence.

Take me for a ride, please

After I had spent every morning of a particular week, cursing and fuming, it was time to make a life changing decision. I stopped driving to work! Driving around Bangalore with its errant rickshaw drivers, callous scooter riders, bulldozing buses and suicidal pedestrians, proved too stressful for me. I threw in the towel and decided to make my contributions to the errant rickshaw drivers’ fund.

That was around 2 years ago. Since then I have realized that not many of the rickshaw drivers are interested in my money and when they are it is mostly when I don’t want to give it. Everyday, I ask at least 15 rickshaw drivers if they will take me to my destination. From a shrug, a disgusted face to a downright snub, I have faced it all. Sometimes I wonder if I live & work in the back of the beyond. The truth however, is that I work in the heart of the city and live just 6 km from my workplace. Or maybe that’s the reason nobody wants to ferry me, they probably want to go to the back of the beyond. When some of these great souls do consent to go where I want to go, they either ask for 50% more than the actual fare or they never return my change.

Though to be fair, I have to mention that I have met a couple of really nice drivers, most of them in their 50s. And yes, when I say a couple I really mean only a couple of them in the 2 years plus of traveling by rickshaws. Just the other day this driver was telling me that ever since the auto fares have increased, customers have stopped thanking him. So once in while I do get a reality check that these guys are human too but fortunately it doesn’t last for too long. I am back to cursing them for not giving me a ride soon enough!

Such is Life...

India has become synonymous with outsourcing (equivalent to cheap labor) and most MNCs believe that all Indians will accept whatever is offered to them. We suffer from a severe colonial hangover to the extent that we believe any place foreign is a better place than India. You will find most commonly that if an American or anybody from the EU is offered a position in a foreign country, s/he will always be offered an ex-pat salary and benefits. But if an Indian is offered the same position, not only will he NOT be offered an ex-pat salary, he will be offered a salary which is considerably less than what would be offered to a local. And the sad reality is that if one Indian refuses to accept this discrimination, there will be a hundred more Indians willing to take up the offer for an even lesser amount.

Indians are a preferred race for assignments in MNCs because we are willing to work obscene hours for obscenely small amounts. We are very efficient, mostly honest and never lazy. Of course, what happens when we work for the Indian government is different ball game. I have theory about that too; the people who work for the government have a different mindset that cuts across all boundaries of race, religion, sex and nationality. But that is a topic for another ranting.

Of course the easiest way to stop this disparity in salaries is to refuse to accept offers that are less than the market value, but then it means we lose the whole outsourcing advantage. So finally what can I do, except rave and rant at the unfairness of it all and yet feel proud and excited at the prospects of new heights that Indians can now scale.

So like Bryant H. McGill once said

“You may find many contradictory statements and philosophies within my writings. However, to this I will say such is life, for life is full of contradictions.”