Mighty Mo

What’s Wrong with Being Single?

2007-12-13T01:13:00.000-08:00

It’s been such a busy time these last few months with a new challenging role at work to tackle. And I am not the only one being busy. I seem to be surrounded by busybodies too! Whether it’s a social occasion or a cab ride, I have been plagued by just one question. “Are you married?” The most common variation is “Where’s your husband?” or “What does your husband do?” Cab drivers, nosy aunties at Diwali parties, nosier friends and peers. Why is everybody interested in my marital status?

While I have been most polite and answered that I am still single. The comeback to that statement has sometimes left me angry, sometimes amused and other times even grateful. Grateful to people who have moved on to other topics. Seething with anger towards those people who want to know why I am still single and actually have the gall to ask if they should find a husband for me! One busybody even said she was sorry! I was too shocked for a comeback after that.

I have contemplated various comebacks to these meddlesome people depending on my frame of mind at that point. “Do you actually think I need help finding a partner?” or “Do you think there is some problem with me?” or “I will not settle for anything less than John Abraham” or when I am at the end of my patience, “ I am a lesbian”. Clarification to those people who suspect that I am, sorry to break the bubble - I am not really gay! Pretending to be one does seem interesting though.

After this deluge of uncomfortable questions, I did ask a couple of other single friends if they faced the same problem. Surprise! I was not the only one! Initially I did think that it was a gender thing, - only women are targeted for being single, but I am happy to say I was wrong. The men have it just as bad. They have even been asked if they have problem! Which is supposed to mean “Are they impotent or gay”?

Somebody, please tell me why this pre occupation with marriage? And its not limited to Indians, I have been asked this question by a person from every nationality I have met, by both men and women. Most single people I know seem to be happier than the married ones I know. What’s Wrong with Being Single?

The Travel Bug 2- Bali

2007-06-20T01:58:00.000-07:00

April- saw me in Bali with my good friend Lisa who was visiting from India. A 4D-3N package that included the flights on Garuda Airlines via Jakarta and stay in the Mercure -Kuta Beach Resort. Very close to the Bali bombings that happened in 2002. The recovery is amazing and there are no traces anymore.

The first day was spent in exploring a portion of the island of Bali. Bali is pre-dominantly Hindu, so the minute they know you are a Hindu they are quite curious to know more about how we practice the religion. So the day started with dance recital of an obscure incident from the Mahabharatha. The costumes were fantastic with elaborate head gears, masks and the like. The background music was provided by different types of percussion instruments that included hammers! Couldn’t really follow the story but it was quite entertaining in any case.

Bali is renowned for its handcrafts and they have villages dedicated to a particular craft. So we visited a village that has skilled craftsmen employed in creating handmade silver jewelry. We visited a showroom that sold these pieces of art. I am sure they wished we didn’t. Being Indians who frequent the Linking Roads of India, we halved most of the prices and they agreed reluctantly. Though I think they still made a good profit.

Ubud – is the area that these villages occupy. We went to a wood carving village as well that had these sublime Ram-Sita busts with the most beautiful serene expressions. If only I could afford it. The sculpture is firmly etched in my mind and it’s one of the best expressions of love that I have ever seen.

From here we went to Kintamani that are highlands near the volcanic region of Bali. You can even see the steam rising from the active volcano. In the pic, you can see the glassy lake surrounded by these peakless mountains. Nature does have a way of sweeping you of your feet!

On the return journey we went to Goa Gajah- a cave temple dedicated to the Hindu god-Lord Ganesha. There were also lingas denoting the trinity of Indian gods- Shiva, Vishnu and Brahma. Before you enter you are supposed to cover your legs with a sarong provided by the temple and also wash you hands in the tank that is fed by a fresh water spring.

The next few days are a blur since we spent them all on the beach, in the beautiful blue green waters. Kuta is a surfer’s paradise and I was even willing to try it if only I knew how to even float! For lunch one afternoon, we sampled all the local fruits that the hawker had dipping them in fresh red chilly paste. The names were quite interesting too, snake-skin fruit, hog plums!

One place to avoid in Bali- the Hard Rock Cafe. They had an excuse of a band with the lead singers just screeching into the mike. The food sucked, the cocktails had a sprinkling of alcohol and as the night progressed it started turning into a pick-up jointe for lonely tourists!

Bali is THE tropical paradise it claims to be and has co much to offer besides its famed beaches though I just can’t get enough of these very beaches. Maybe another 10 visits for the beaches and an additional 10 visits to explore the rest of Bali. That should suffice for this lifetime!

The Travel Bug 1- Malacca

2007-06-20T01:53:00.000-07:00

The past few months have been feeding my travel bug, making it all powerful. After a trip to India where I described my travels to the Konkan, (chronicles that are still in the making), the travel bug has ensured that I visited a new place every month. There is something claustrophobic about Singapore despite all the open spaces, trees and beaches. I get restless to get out of Singapore ever so often. Or it could just be the travel.

So in March, a week after I returned from India, I visited Malacca or Melaka in Malaysia (as it is known in Malay). It was a motley crew from the condo complex that I stay in. My friend and I were the only Indians. The rest were a mix of Singaporeans, Americans, Australians and Chinese. Retirees, hassled housewives, kids and bored young women like us. Malacca is a four-hour drive (245 km) from Singapore and is located on the southwestern coast of Malay Peninsula opposite Sumatra and commands a central position on the Straits of Malacca.
The precise origins of Malacca are disputed. It appears that Malacca was founded by Parameswara, a Srivijayan prince who fled Sumatra in 1377. He found his way to Malacca where he found a good port accessible in all seasons and on the strategically located narrowest point of the Malacca Straits. He established Malacca as major international port by compelling passing ships to call there, and establishing fair and reliable facilities for warehousing and trade. Mass settlement of Chinese, mostly from the imperial and merchant fleet occurred duringthis period.A cultural result of the vibrant trade was the expansion of the Peranakan people, who spread to other major settlements in the region.

In 1511, it became a strategic base for Portuguese expansion in the East Indies.Followed by the Dutch who ruled Malacca from 1641 to 1795 but they were not interested in developing it as a trading centre.Malacca was ceded to the Britishand from 1826 to 1946 and was governed, first by the British East India Company and then as a Crown Colony.

All these influences are visible in the culture of this quaint town. There is even an abandoned church on the hill which housed the remains of Francis Xavier until it was transported to Goa. The architecture reflects a mix of Portuguese and British influences. Th street markets, the town square reminded me so much of Goa, it was like being back home again.

Malacca is well-known for its food. Most notable of all is the Nyonya-Baba cuisine or Peranakan which is a mixture of Chinese and Malay cooking with most dishes being spicy. We were served Sambal Udon which is baby prawns in a spicy chilly gravy accompanied with steamed rice.. There were a couple of chicken and beef dishes along with a dish called Otak-Otak and is made by mixing fish paste (usually mackerel) with a mixture of spices including chillies, garlic, shallots, turmeric, lemon grass and coconut milk. The mixture is then wrapped in a pandan leaf, then or steamed. The meal ended with ice cold chendol. The dessert's basic ingredients consist of shaved ice, coconut milk, starch noodles with green food coloring (usually sourced from the pandan leaf) and palm sugar red beans and grass jelly. My favorites were the Sambal Undon, Otak-Otak and Chendol, of course. I normally don’t really enjoy sea food, but these were the exceptions. Skipping breakfast, waking up at 6 am, is my excuse.

Highlights of the trip-the drive to and back from Malacca-really beautiful with thick tropical jungles lining the highway. The food with out any doubts. The colonial, laid back atmostphere. Breath taking view of the beach from the broken down church on the hill. It’s a great getaway for a day trip!

Konkan Chronicles –Part II

2007-04-16T03:15:00.000-07:00

A Journey to Find My Roots

Mangalore-my birthplace, land of my ancestors. I had heard so much about Mangalore before I went there in 2004. It was all that and more! A bustling city where people actually speak my native tongue-Konkani. Believe me, when you have spent all your life speaking tongues other than your own, it feels wonderful! It IS home!

Mangalore is where I found this little piece of history tucked away in locality teeming with local fishermen and their families. Sultan Battery- built by Tipu Sultan to prevent warships entering the Gurpur river. Although it is a watchtower, it gives the impression of a miniature fortress and even has openings to allow for mounting of cannons. The view is spectacular (as can be seen in the adjoining pic) and its not tough to imagine an armed lookout keeping vigil day after day.

Being a foodie, the traditional Mangalorean food interested me tremendously. I sampled a lot of the local Saraswat fare. Dishes that we don’t cook at home usually. Pan pole or neer dosa ( rice pancakes mixed with coconut) as the bunts call it. Bun roti or buns (sweet, savory fried snack). Goli bajji (spicy snack made from refined flour, yoghurt and chillies) Kori roti- a bunt specialty(Chicken with a fiery gravy made of coconut milk, served with card board like pancakes). Kane masala fry- another bunt delicacy which is a coconut oil fried river fish topped with a fiery paste of red chilies and tamarind. And, finally lots and lots of Gadbad ice-cream. A concoction that consists of fresh fruits, different flavors of ice-cream topped with dry fruits. A gastronomic delight to say the least! And I am beginning to hallucinate about food after living a food deprived life in Singapore these last few months.

From Mangalore, we visited a lot of other important places of worship for my community-the Chitrapur Saraswat Brahmins. They are mostly small villages which are the resting places of our spiritual gurus. My bed time stories sometimes comprised of stories of these gurus. Digression alert-Sadly I don’t remember the chronology or any other aspects of this part of my community history. Another thing to add to my list of things to do. The list just keeps getting longer- Digression alert over. The places we visited were Vittal, Mallapur, Gokarn and Shirali. All these places except for Shirali have only the family of the priest in the premises. And it scares me to think of living in the middle of nowhere with your whole life tied to the remains of another human.

The only one among these shrines or math (pronounced mutt) that truly had an impact on me is the Bhandikeri math at Gokarn. This is the samadhi (final resting place) of our first guru H.H. Shrimat Parijnanashram-I Swamiji (1708-1720). You get here after taking a winding road up a hill that overlooks the Arabian Sea. Nestled among mango and bamboo groves is a small cottage with the typical tiled roof that characterises the architecture of most houses in the Konkan. You are at peace here no matter how hard you fight it.

In the next part of my chronicles, I want to touch some more on Gokarn, Shirali and Ankola. I don’t know how many parts it will take me before I finish chronicling my journeys but obviously its made such a powerful impact on me that I visit the Konkan atleast once a year no matter which part of the world I reside in.

The Konkan Chronicles –Part I

2007-03-07T00:46:00.001-08:00

Everytime I visit the Konkan coast with its beautiful white beaches, numerous rivers flowing into the blue, blue Arabian Sea, deep green coconut trees swaying gently along these waters, I know I have returned home!

The precise definition of Konkan varies, but most include Maharashtra's districts of Raigad, Ratnagiri and Sindhudurg, the state of Goa, and the Kanara districts (North and South) of Karnataka.The sapta-Konkan as depicted in Skanda-purana stretches from southern Gujarat in the north to Kerala in the south.

I was born in Mangalore-the heart of the Konkan coast-many, many earth revolutions ago. My first conscious memory of the Konkan is visiting my friend’s palatial house in Vasco-da-gama, Goa. When you are eighteen years old, visiting a new place on your own without your family along is pretty exciting in itself. But Goa is magical at any age. It’s a laidback, chilled out place even in the hottest of summers. Memories of long drives to reach far-off beaches. Coconut and cashew trees lining the roads interrupted by tiny shrines dedicated to the Bom Jesus or Madonna. Singing along with Bon Jovi, feeling the rain on our faces and the sea lapping at our feet. Trying all sorts of seafood that I didn’t know existed. Shacks by the beach lit up by numerous little festive lights.Lively local bands singing popular Goan numbers. But you still hear the sound of the waves in the background. The paradox of energy and calm.

My second trip to the Konkan was a geological excursion. Beginning with Malvan where breakfast was Misal-pav and jilebi, lunch provided on their verandahs by the local residents.The Sindhudurg fort where I slipped and grazed my shin. We did pick up a lot of rock samples, looked at a lot of geological formations and partied every night. We winded down to the iron ore mines in Goa through Sawantwadi-some more rock formations , Chapora-the fort with a view to some wind erosion formations, Vagator- rock formations caused by a combination of wind and sea erosion. I wish I could remember the names of the rocks and the formations & structures that our professors painstakingly tried to drill into our thick-heads. Probably time to google for them. Look out for the next edition of the Konkan Chronicles!

Buddhas, Massages and Flyovers

2007-01-05T03:34:00.000-08:00

Bangkok connotes exotic for most people. My first impression was that it was so much like India. Everywhere you go, you are surrounded by flyovers and yes, those damn one-ways just like Bangalore. And both the flyovers and one-ways haven’t eased the traffic situation in anyway.

A four day trip is too short a time to explore Bangkok. Most of my time went in looking at Buddhas of all sizes made from all different materials. Jade, 22-carat gold, bronze, cement, resin, wood, hide, you name it. With most of the population being Buddhist, its no wonder that they have as many pagodas as we have temples in India.

Eddie- our guide was more interested in packing as many things as he could in a day rather than letting us soak in the place. We always knew we had reached our destinantion when he said “ Welcome, welcome” in his typical sing-song fashion. He would also say “Thank you, driver” very loudly at regular intervals. The driver didn’t seem to understand any English at all, so I have no idea for whose benefit Eddie said it.

The weekend market(Chatuchak), the floating market, the night market- Bangkok is a shoppers paradise, you can find anything you want. The only pre-requisite being that you are good at haggling. They will quote outrageous prices and even if you half that price and buy the object of your desire, you will come away with this lingering doubt that maybe you could have bought it for cheaper. Personally, I enjoyed the ferry ride to the floating market more than the shopping itself. But if you have ever taken a boat ride in the exquisite back waters of Kerala, this is not so exciting.

Bangkok is also about their famed massages. I did get a 2 hour Thai massage for just 500 baht. They use acupressure techniques and it was pretty relaxing after the hours and hours we spent walking around looking at Buddhas.

We also visited the old Thai capital of Ayyuthaya (sounds so much like Ayodhya., doesn’t it!). Magnificient gardens surrounded by ponds. European architecture blending with Thai, giving it a very unique look and feel.

Another interesting temple ( though closed for worship) is Wat Arun. The temple of Dawn. (yup, Arun means the same in Thai as in Hindi). The temple is decorated with broken pieces of ceramic plates and other such things that were found from Chinese shipwreck years ago. Unless you went clsoe to the temple, you would neve know it was made from scrap.

I know Bangkok is one place I will visit again. There is a lot still so much to explore!

You Win Some, You Lose Some!

2006-10-25T23:25:00.000-07:00

Last week was a memorable one in many ways. I spent a week in my favorite city- Sydney. Like a friend was telling me the other day, the minute you exit the airport, you can feel that Sydney is different. The air is so crisp and fresh, the people all beautiful with well toned bodies and it’s oh-so-clean!

On my last visit, I mostly traveled by cab so didn’t really experience the city except like a tourist would. This time I took the train around, got quite lost in the maze of malls that dot the city center. I love Sydney also for its food. It’s one place where you get really authentic food. A 10-course Chinese meal to Mediterranean fare, I tried everything and loved most of it.

Another reason for it being a memorable week was the overwhelming response to one of my previous blogs-NO, I am not a Maharashtrian! Thanks to the person who forwarded the link to other interested people. A big thank you to everybody who read the post and left encouraging comments. I have started believing that people actually like to read my posts.

Last weekend was also my first Diwali in Singapore. There was a dinner organized for all the Indian families in the condo complex I stay. Crackers, decked up women, sweets, a fancy dinner…the works! The operative word here though was FAMILY. Not really the best place for a single working woman, I learnt again. My hopes of meeting likeminded, fun loving, young people were dashed once more.

And the ‘icing’ on the cake was of course a virus affecting my yahoo account making my account inoperable. It is an account that I have had since the 90s. It has been restored now but for a day I felt like I had been robbed of my identity. Moral of this story- you win some, you lose some!

Dreams-Mirror Inner Feelings Or Future Life?

2006-10-11T00:43:00.000-07:00

While it's been sometime since I had this dream or should I call it a nightmare. It has intrigued me so much that I have felt the need to look it up to see what it means. www.dreammoods.com is the site that I picked to find interpretations to my dream

The recurrent dream that I have had in the past ( thankfully its been some time since I had it) is that of cats or kittens biting me. I can actually feel those incredibly sharp teeth sinking into my fingers. And man is it painful!!! As a child we used have cats at home as pets and have been very fond of them. But in the past year or so they look evil to me. And what you fear when you know its silly , you begin to hate. To make matters worse, cats in Singapore are considered sacred so there are stray cats everywhere you go. So the nightmare seemed like it was getting real. It was time I found the signifcance of what the dream meant. Here is what the site says “To dream that a cat is biting you, symbolizes the devouring female. Perhaps you are taking and taking without giving. You may be expressing some fear or frustration especially when something is not going as planned.” The frustration bit seems plausible coz in some ways I am a control freak and it does get to me if things don’t go the way I have planned it.

I did check some of my other dreams which are pleasant enough and occur at regular frequencies. The explanation to those seemed pretty plausible as well, though I did have my own interpretations to them. The site also gives interpretations which are not just about your inner feelings but also some that serve as portents. I am not sure how true those are but it did make me delve into history and mythology for examples that I remember from childhood tales. The one I was looking for was the birth of the Buddha. His mother- the Queen Mahamaya is believed to have dreamt of a white elephant carrying a lotus flower. I remember there was much more to this, but couldn’t find what I was looking for. The interpretation to this dream was that a son would be born to the queen. The child would either grow to be a great king or an enlightened man. Now consider this, if you were invited to interpret the dream for a powerful couple who haven’t been able to conceive for twenty years, what would you tell them? Obviously what they want to hear- a son who will be great in some way or the other! That’s what I find astrologers do too, they tell you all the good stuff that you want to hear and some bad stuff so they can make money. Win-win like all the good things in life!

Talkers & Listeners

2006-09-10T23:05:00.000-07:00

In the numerous continuums that dot the universe, I find the talker-listener continuum one of the most interesting. I have seen all kinds of people occupying different positions on this continuum during a conversation. Obviously, if you want to have a conversation it is essential to move along this continuum constantly. But for a person like me who is mostly sprawled on the listener end of the continuum (I like to think it’s courtesy-you’d probably call it lethargy), it does get a bit tedious if you are with a motormouth.

Talkers most of the times love to hear themselves talk.They savour every word they say like it’s a manna from the heavens. And everybody knows you can’t get enough of a good thing, so they end up repeating themselves ad nauseum because they just don’t want to stop talking. If you are lucky or just plain fool hardy you will be able to insert a monosyllable during the course of the monologue. And if you do get a chance to say a complete sentence, you will see the talker so impatient that you think he needed a bio break. But all he actually wants is to grab that baton away from you.

Now imagine a conversation between two talkers. Both are talking continuously and they are obviously not listening to each other because they are too busy…talking! Now picture that these two people are married to each other. It’s easy for me to picture, infact I could even name them but I won’t. As a third person watching this couple ‘conversing’ is like watching two movies on adjacent screens.

Husband called S : I am planning to break down this wall, make the kitchen into a jacuzzi with a hometheatre system fitted in. I can now watch movies while I soak.

Wife also called S: I just got fired from my job because I hit on the boss and she didn’t like it. I had figured her for a dyke, I can’t believe I was so wrong..

Husband called (ya you guessed right!)S: I think I’ll fix the flat screen TVon the ceiling. I can actually float while watching “Jaws”. It will be even more effective than those 3D movies they have.

Okay, I confess this is not an actual conversation, but it could happen right? And while you are at it, are you a talker or a listener? Believe me listening is much more fun!

First of many Firsts

2006-08-14T23:23:00.000-07:00

It has only been a month since I left home and there have been so many developments that it seems much longer. Time passes slowly when you don’t have too much to do but on hind sight it also seems like a long time when you have managed to do a lot of things that you planned and didn’t think you could. Is it paradoxical? Sure! My blog, my space, my paradox!

The last month has been a whirlwind of activties. Four days in Singapore, getting an employment pass , a bank account, looking at apartments and having lunch alone for the first time on a birthday. Sometimes when I look back at my birthday, I can’t help but wonder if the rest of my year is going to be spent the same way-doing things on my own. This year has been that of many firsts. First birthday spent alone, a birthday spread over more than 24 hours. I flew to the US on my b’day, so after crossing the international date line, it was still my birthday.

I moved into my new rented apartment last week. Another first to have an apartment leased in my name and having to budget to pay all those never ending bills. But its been an exhiliarting experience. The whole ‘being on my own’ thing. To have so much space to call my own.

The world does seem small when you go to the beach and find another Indian single girl who also studyed in Pune like me. In some ways, living in a new country is like going to college or school for the first time. You got to be on your best behaviour and you got to be more extroverted than you generally are. If Singapore does turn out as good as college I think I will have a really good time here.

New Beginnings

2006-06-12T05:54:00.000-07:00

I have not posted any thing on my blog for such a long time that I was reaching a stage where I had forgotten that I even had a blog. A wake-up call came in the form of a comment from a reader.

One significant development has been occupying most of my mental space. My move to Singapore- finally scheduled for the end of this month. Though I have visited Singapore a number of times, the fact that I will actually be spending the next couple of years there has whetted my appetite for more information about this country/city.

The India Connection

The name Singapore is derived from the Malay words singa (lion) and pura (city), which were themselves derived from Sanskrit words. It is believed that a prince named Sang Nila Utama, saw a lion as the first living creature on the island and decided to name it Singapura as a result.

The first records of Singapore's existence are in Chinese texts from the 3rd century AD. The island was an outpost of the Sumatran Srivijaya empire and originally bore the Javanese name Temasek. Srivijaya belonged to the Buddist Samudra dynasty which originated in India. Temasek rose to become a significant trading city, but subsequently declined. Between the 16th and early 19th centuries, Singapore was a part of the Sultanate of Johore. In 1819, Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles, an official with the British East India Company, signed a treaty with the Sultan of Johore. He also established Singapore as a trading post and settlement, which saw instant growth and immigration from various ethnic groups.

Due to its rich history, Malays, Chinese and Indians are a part of the melting pot that Sinagpore is. I think this is one of those truly cosmopolitan places that I have always wanted to work in. The fact that 4% of the population is of Indian origin helps. I think I would feel a little homesick if I didn’t see Indian faces everyday.

After work hours
Assuming that I don’t spend my time slogging at work, I am excited about exploring a new place and experiencing new cultures. Here’s what I plan to do- visit all the animal attractions especially the night safari, eat at the hawkers stalls in China town, Arab street and Little India, and learn Mandarin! The first two I am pretty sure I will accomplish but learning mandarin,I hope it doesn’t remain a dream. Not because of lack of resources more likely to be lack of sustaining power on my part. Maybe Singapore will be a new beginning atleast in that aspect.

Burn them

2006-04-18T03:11:00.000-07:00

There are always a couple of songs which are played on every occasion and are everybody’s favorite songs. There are times though when these ‘favorites’ start getting on your nerves. Since this is my space to rant, here’s my list of songs which need to be cremated. Cremated, not buried mind you, with burial there is still a chance of resurrection, but with cremation, the ashes will be flung so far away that hopefully they can never be resurrected.

Top of my list is “Hotel California” I am sure I don’t have to mention the band. The reason this heads my list is it is played at every party; it is every wannabe rock aficionado’s anthem. The operative word being wannabe. Yes it is a great number, it has great lyrics, it has great guitaring, buts it is also a great big bore.

All ABBA numbers. What is it about ABBA? I just don’t find their music interesting. Not even as a kid when I was forced to listen to it. I guess what also contributed to this abhorrence was listening to ‘Fernando’ ad nauseum every year for the annual music competitions in school.

“My heart will go on”- Celine Dion. No Valentine’s Day is complete without this number being played on every music and radio channel. This one number is definitely non- negotiable on the cremation front. Has to go!

“Nothing’s gonna change my love for you”- Glenn Medeiros Please spare me. I really can’t take this song anymore. I am sure I’ll burst into hives or something if I listen to this one more time.

“Summer of 69”- Bryan Adams I do like listening to Bryan Adams as compared to the numerous boy bands dotting the landscape but not this number. Another of those, that have to be played by every band and by every DJ at every party.

All Venga Boys, Aqua, Macerena, just burn them, erase all traces of their existence.

Take me for a ride, please

2006-04-07T03:17:00.000-07:00

After I had spent every morning of a particular week, cursing and fuming, it was time to make a life changing decision. I stopped driving to work! Driving around Bangalore with its errant rickshaw drivers, callous scooter riders, bulldozing buses and suicidal pedestrians, proved too stressful for me. I threw in the towel and decided to make my contributions to the errant rickshaw drivers’ fund.

That was around 2 years ago. Since then I have realized that not many of the rickshaw drivers are interested in my money and when they are it is mostly when I don’t want to give it. Everyday, I ask at least 15 rickshaw drivers if they will take me to my destination. From a shrug, a disgusted face to a downright snub, I have faced it all. Sometimes I wonder if I live & work in the back of the beyond. The truth however, is that I work in the heart of the city and live just 6 km from my workplace. Or maybe that’s the reason nobody wants to ferry me, they probably want to go to the back of the beyond. When some of these great souls do consent to go where I want to go, they either ask for 50% more than the actual fare or they never return my change.

Though to be fair, I have to mention that I have met a couple of really nice drivers, most of them in their 50s. And yes, when I say a couple I really mean only a couple of them in the 2 years plus of traveling by rickshaws. Just the other day this driver was telling me that ever since the auto fares have increased, customers have stopped thanking him. So once in while I do get a reality check that these guys are human too but fortunately it doesn’t last for too long. I am back to cursing them for not giving me a ride soon enough!

Such is Life...

2006-04-03T05:09:00.000-07:00

India has become synonymous with outsourcing (equivalent to cheap labor) and most MNCs believe that all Indians will accept whatever is offered to them. We suffer from a severe colonial hangover to the extent that we believe any place foreign is a better place than India. You will find most commonly that if an American or anybody from the EU is offered a position in a foreign country, s/he will always be offered an ex-pat salary and benefits. But if an Indian is offered the same position, not only will he NOT be offered an ex-pat salary, he will be offered a salary which is considerably less than what would be offered to a local. And the sad reality is that if one Indian refuses to accept this discrimination, there will be a hundred more Indians willing to take up the offer for an even lesser amount.

Indians are a preferred race for assignments in MNCs because we are willing to work obscene hours for obscenely small amounts. We are very efficient, mostly honest and never lazy. Of course, what happens when we work for the Indian government is different ball game. I have theory about that too; the people who work for the government have a different mindset that cuts across all boundaries of race, religion, sex and nationality. But that is a topic for another ranting.

Of course the easiest way to stop this disparity in salaries is to refuse to accept offers that are less than the market value, but then it means we lose the whole outsourcing advantage. So finally what can I do, except rave and rant at the unfairness of it all and yet feel proud and excited at the prospects of new heights that Indians can now scale.

So like Bryant H. McGill once said

“You may find many contradictory statements and philosophies within my writings. However, to this I will say such is life, for life is full of contradictions.”

Babies- Make ‘future worth living for’

2006-03-10T03:05:00.000-08:00

Before I met my niece (Sonia Singh) who is all of 6 months old, I had never held a baby for more than 5 minutes. Being the youngest in my family, I even have cousin’s kids (technically my nephews) who are older than me. So spending 10 days with her was an eye opener in to the world of babies. I always thought that with babies that young, the only activities are feeding and diaper changing. I was so wrong!!! While those activities constituted the majority, entertaining her was a task by itself.

You have her attention for five minutes if it is her singing caterpillar and ten minutes if you sing along with the caterpillar. Ten minutes in the swing and fifteen minutes if she is singing. Then she is bored and bawling and needs to be taken for a guided tour of the house. Toys didn’t help for too long probably ‘coz I wasn’t sure why she was crying. Was she hungry, sleepy or just plain bored? So you try all the combinations before something works. And sometimes nothing works except being held by her mother.

I also realized that they have so many expressions and they can change every second. One instant, she’s crying and the next she’s got big smile on her face. And I would do anything to see that happy sunshine smile, including faking hiccups and burps. Coughing like an old hag. Anything!

I remember reading somewhere that, “A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.”

Those were the best days of my life!

2006-01-10T01:51:00.000-08:00

To borrow from a hit Bryan Adams track, the Fergie days were undoubtedly the best days of my life. Four years in Fergusson College- Pune. Memories to last me a life time. I could not ask for a better time in college. This beautiful college has been witness to my many escapades. I remember those heady days when peons had to chase us in to the classrooms so the benches would be filled when the professor walked in. Getting thrown out of practical classes for not having enough attendance and shamelessly rejoicing because we could catch a movie. Spending most afternoons dancing away in a disco. They used to be called noon discs then.

Our ‘gang’ of five girls had only one objective for that day and everyday-Be entertained. Each of us had totally diverse backgrounds and temperaments but we seemed to have that extremely abused word- ‘wavelength’. That probably explains why we are friends even now after nearly a decade of graduating from college.

Sumi- a crazy Malaysian bong who jumped over hostel walls so she could party with us. A fancy executive at a leading financial consulting company now, I don’t think she has changed that much. She would jump over any wall if there was a chance to party.

Archie- a typical Goan with a chilled out attitude- always ready to have a good time. She introduced me to G’N’R. I always ended up borrowing her party clothes and used to loathe returning them. I remember her being embarrassed because she couldn’t remember how many cars her family owned, it was in the region of 6-10!

Maddy- a true blue ‘Puneri’ who still lives in the same colony where she grew up, she married her neighbour! I haven’t met a more whacked out person and believe me I am surrounded by whacky people. Her favorite expression was ‘bored ya!’ which invariably led to some crazy scheme.

Minal- The most sane person in the gang, she was the athlete who wanted to drag us lazy kids to a trek or some such thing. I always looked forward to the spread that her mom fed us with for Christmas every year. Last I knew she was in Dubai, like every other Mallu in the world!

Then there is ‘yours truly’ of course, I used to live every day like it was my last. Even now I want to seize every moment and live life to the fullest. But there is a big gap between wanting something and it actually happening. The resolution this year is to eliminate that gap.

NO!!! I am not a Maharashtrian!

2006-01-05T02:40:00.000-08:00

Every time I introduce myself, I find that I need to clarify that I am not a Maharashtrian. I am Chitrapur Saraswat Brahmin from Mangalore. It is about time that I have more to say about my community than just that. So here goes. It may sound like a history lesson, that’s because it is!

The Saraswat Brahmins claim descent from a Brahmin caste mentioned in ancient Hindu scriptures as inhabiting the Saraswati River valley, the geographic location of which is unknown. The actual origins of this community and the circumstances of its relocation to the areas that they now inhabit are shrouded in mystery.

My ancestors are Aryans, like every other Indian’s

One of the theories lays claim to the fact that my ancestors migrated to all parts of India from the valleys of Kashmir. Most historians suspect that after a few thousand years of flowing, the Saraswati began to dry out and became non-existent by 1000 BC. The entire region started becoming arid and with no means of growing their crops, the Saraswats had no choice but to move. This period of history saw many civilizations abandoning their settlements. This migration was spread over centuries. The last of the exodus is believed to be in 350 BC due to a wide spread famine which lasted for 12 years.

The Saraswat Brahmins residing on the western coast of India (primarily in Maharashtra, Goa, and Karnataka) are thought to have descended from these Kashmiri Brahmins. Substantial evidence has been set forth by several historians relating that the Kashmiri Brahmins migrated to Goa by the eleventh century AD.

The Exodus from Goa

Goa was chosen mainly for its fertile soil and sea ports with flourishing overseas trade. Another reason for their migration into Konkan is the marital relationships between the Kadamba king Jayakeshi (1050-1080 AD) of Goa and the Saraswat king from Trihotra. Some historians believe that the king of Trihut sent ninety-six families from ten gothras to the new land to propagate religion and philosophy at the request of the Kadamba King.

The Saraswats enjoyed peace and prosperity in Goa for 400 years. Goa was attacked by Muslim rulers destroying many temples and forcing the Hindus into converting to Islam. To avoid religious persecution several Saraswat families moved to Kanara. This explains why most of the family deities are in Goa ( Mangeshi & Shantadurga). Ours though is at Ankola in North Kanara. The picture above is of that very same temple.

To think that if this exodus hadn't happened I would be Goan! But then, if none of the migrations had happened I would probably be European!

Why my surname is unpronounceable!

The group who migrated to Karnataka was dominated by educators and administrators. This migrant group moved inland to North and South Kanara. Their intelligence and experience as administrators, allowed some of them to secure prominent positions as accountants in the courts of the Hindu rulers of the time. One such Hindu king of the Keladi kingdom was so impressed by the diligence and skills of his Saraswat accountant that he decreed that every village in his kingdom, be administered by a Saraswat. Eventually these Saraswats took on the name of the village as their last name. At last I know why my surname is the tongue twister that it is.

Finally why we are Chitrapur Saraswat Brahmins

Although the Saraswats were well respected as accountants, they were not readily recognized as true Brahmins by the local Brahmins, because they had no spiritual guru, which was the norm then. I think it was plain jealousy. Anyway it became essential to seek a spiritual preceptor for the community. They pleaded with a Saraswat Sanyasi, Parijananasharma Swamy, visiting from North India, to become their Guru. He consented to guide the community and established a new Mutt for them in Gokarn in 1708 AD. In 1739 AD, the ruler Basavappa Nayaka II donated land in Gokarn to build a mutt in reverence to their primary deity, Shri Bhavanishankar.

His successor Shankarasharma Swamy travelled to Chitrapur and attained Samadhi there in 1757 AD. Another Mutt was established in Chitrapur near Shirali in North Kanara and it became the headquarters of the Mutt. Over time the connection with other groups in Goa was lost and the belief that we are the descendents of Kashmiri Brahmins became stronger. And eventually the sub-sect -Chitrapur Saraswat Brahmins (also referred to as Bhanaps) was formed and continued following the Smarta (followers of Lord Shiva) tradition while the Gaud Saraswat Brahmins in Goa and Karnataka drifted to the Vaishnava (followers of Lord Vishnu) faith.

During the British rule, the Bhanaps took to English education earlier than others. Subsequently, they were able to obtain key jobs at the district offices and the Collector’s offices in Mangalore, Honavar and Karwar. They were also quickly employed as administrators in the Cotton and Textile export industry in Kumta, Hubli and Dharwad. Many Bhanaps made their way into the cosmopolitan city of Bombay by the late 1800's.

One aspect that I haven’t touched upon is that our community speaks Konkani, a language that is considered as one of the Indo-Aryan languages descending from the Middle Indic Prakrits. The script too seems to be lost in the hoary past otherwise why the need for English, I would be writing in Konkani!

The Good Times- May they Never End

2005-12-29T02:35:00.000-08:00

End of the year is always a time for reminiscing and nostalgia with me. The past two years (after a long time) have been the most memorable for all the right reasons. I began on a journey to explore the world not just by traveling but allowing new experiences and people to enter my mostly cloistered world. My job ensures that I interact with people from different countries on an everyday basis. I have slowly and surely learnt about their cultures and concerns. Universally, whether it is the French, Australians, Italians, Malaysians, Chinese, Americans or Indians, the everyday concern remains the same. Ensure a Better Tomorrow.

On a not so stodgy note, the collage above shows the good times I had in the past 2 years. Starting with the left, moving clockwise.

1. Newport- RI – USA
A playground for the seriously rich, this place is full of mansions like the Breakers. Reminded me of all those crappy historical romances where the poor heroine would be overwhelmed to be invited to a ball at mansions rather places like these. For me the other big attraction here was those beautiful yachts docked at Goat’s island. The picture was taken opposite one such exquisite yacht.
2. Malpe-KA-India
Six kilometers from Udupi on the Karnataka coast, this is a beautiful beach with a resort just 100 metres away. This was the most refreshing of my holidays ever. Lazy days spent on the beach (without a sunblock resulting in the monkey face sunburn), great food and even better company of close friends.
3. Mumbai- MH- India
A ferry ride on windy night from the Gateway of India. After a hard day’s work I felt relaxed and stress free after this spin. Much better than ‘chilling out’ at a crowded night club. The fact that I couldn’t see the dirty water helped too!
4. Someshwar-KA-India
An hour from Mangalore, this virgin beach joins to Ullal beach further north. My brother and I were the only ones on this beach and after the initial interest taken by the fishing village (we were mistaken for foreigners and they were thrilled that we could speak their language) we had the place to ourselves.
5. Ooty-TN-India
King’s Cliff- the very name evokes images of British times and, believe me the resort has maintained that essence. With fireplaces in every room, continental breakfast on the lawns in the morning, it was too short a visit!
6. Halebid-KA-India
Remnants of the Hoysala Empire built in the 11th and 12th century, the carvings are intricate to say the least. No matter how many hours you spend looking at the temples, you end up wanting to stay some more.
7. Mumbai-MH-India
After Bangalore, the only other city in India that I want to visit as often as I can. A city that never sleeps, bubbling with energy, always on the go. There aren’t enough adjectives that can describe the spirit of the megapolis.
8. Kuala Lumpur –Malaysia (Center image with the red badge)
Atop the bridge on the 40th floor connecting the famous Petronas Towers (where the Sean Connery- Catherine Zeta Jones flick- Entrapment was shot). This was seriously f…ed up trip. The only saving grace was meeting a colleague-Roha who is now more of a friend.

Missing from this collage are trips to Sydney, Singapore, Dubai, New Delhi, Chennai, Mysore and the rest of the Karnataka Coast. I guess I am going to leave pics and anecdotes from the missing trips for my next blog.

CYA- Transcends All Barriers- Part 1

2005-12-22T04:22:00.000-08:00

Recently the rape and murder of a call centre employee, a 24-year-old woman, by a person pretending to be the substitute driver of her company transport has sent a chill down the spine of the BPO industry in Bangalore.

While the accused has already been arrested and a confession extracted from him, the larger issue has not been resolved and it has now turned into a blame game. The issue is the safety of its citizens whether male or female.

This gruesome incident happened on a lonely road and when the Police Commissioner was asked about why these streets were not patrolled, he citing lack of manpower. It is galling to receive these kinds of answers because every night so many honest citizens are beleaguered at pubs by hordes of these policemen. The cops want all the pubs and restaurants to down the shutters by 11.30 pm and they begin herding citizens out by 11.15pm. Instead of harassing citizens, I would think their efforts would be better directed if they patrol the streets. Also does it not make better sense to have the city busy all through the night so that there are not too many lonely roads to patrol? The efforts spent to close down pubs at 11.30 pm do not seem have to have resulted in better safety in any case.

The police spokesperson had this to say about the incident “She was the lone employee being ferried to the office for duty in the odd hours.” He criticized the multinational firm for not providing adequate security to its women employees on night duty.

The BPO Company, HP Globalsoft on the other hand has refused to take onus for the lapse in security. This despite the fact, that the actual driver who was supposed to pick up the girl on that fateful night called the HP office and informed them that the victim was picked up by a substitute driver. When the girl didn’t turn up to work when she was supposed to, panic buttons should have been pressed, but nothing happened. They didn’t even suspect foul play when the husband of the victim called to locate his wife.

HP Globalsoft’s CEO Som Mittal when questioned about the incident said “This has been a most unfortunate incident. It has nothing to do with the company. It is a stray, one-off incident.” When asked about providing compensation to the victim’s family, he said, “We haven’t even gone into it. It is a one-of-its-kind case where the policy issues of the company are yet to be looked into,” and merely noted, “We do provide coverage on PF and Gratuity.” This was the reply three days after the incident. Isn’t the company liable for the security of its employees? Doesn’t an employee become the responsibility of the company as soon as s/he takes company transport to work?

Will humans ever stop covering their a** and start taking responsibility for their actions?

Even if the ‘Sky is Falling’…

2005-12-20T03:17:00.000-08:00

I will never part with my Asterix collection. Finally this year I have managed to put the whole collection together and it has turned out be quite an expensive proposition.

I have been reading since the time I could identify the English alphabet, and that’s probably the first time that I put my grubby hands on an Asterix album that my older siblings had left lying around. Then, what interested me was the feast at the end of every adventure and the numerous times that Obelix sunk his teeth into a wild boar.

As I grew older the running gag of Romans and pirates getting bashed up every time seemed incredibly funny. Now years later, no matter how many times I read an Asterix & Obelix adventure, I find something new to laugh about, not that I don’t laugh at the old jokes again.

The first thing that struck me about these albums is the vibrant colors. There is so much warmth in them that I wish I could retire into this idyllic village. Bordered by the sea and the forest full of wild boars and Romans waiting to be clobbered, it is perfect. Every drawing has been painstakingly created with attention to even the miniscule details. Uderzo, the artistic genius manages to make every frame funny and he’s at his best with the large scale drawings of detailed city or village scenes. Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction, Uderzo is actually color blind, so he’s had his assistants fill those trade mark warm colors that make Asterix comics so enjoyable.

The true heroes though in my opinion are Anthea Bell and Derek Hockridge, the English translators who have caught the nuances of Rene Goscinny’s original prose in French. Many of these puns reflect the French original. In some ways, the English translation is more apt, like the translation of Ordralfabétix (referring to ordre alphabétique, "alphabetical order"), is Unhygienix, given that this character is a fishmonger infamous for his rotting product. The original Panoramix, which perhaps represents the druid who sees the whole picture, is named Getafix in the English version, as "get a fix" conveys the fact he makes potent potions. Assurancetourix (assurance tous risques or "comprehensive insurance"), the ear-offending bard of the village, becomes the apt Cacofonix. This is the best translation, which I think works better in English. Idéfix. An idée fixe is a "fixed idea", i.e. an obsession, a dogma. The translation, Dogmatix, manages to conserve the "fixed idea" meaning and also include the syllable dog—perfect, given that the character is a dog who has very strong views on the environment (he howls whenever he sees an uprooted tree).

In the albums, some historical facts are retold, and attributed to Asterix & Obelix. Here’re the most prominent ones that caught my eye,

In Asterix & Cleopatra, when visiting Egypt, Obelix scales the sphinx. He slips, breaking the nose in the process. Immediately all the souvenir-shops nearby chisel off the noses of their souvenir-sphinxes.

Asterix in Britain depicts the Britons drinking hot water with a drop of milk. Only when Asterix puts in tea-leaves, given by the druid, the habit becomes a national obsession.

Asterix ends up in a circus in front of a bull in Asterix in Spain (not a lion, there!). He manages to evade receiving applause from the audience. A guest of the Roman general drops her red cape in the arena. When Asterix wants play the gallant and return it, the bull reacts giving us the first bullfight. Also in the same album, Unhygenix the fishmonger agrees to take payment for his boat rental in menhirs, as he wants to develop land on Salisbury Plain—which explains the mystery of the Stonehenge.

Some of my favourite lines that evoke laughter everytime,

Obelix, “ These Romans are crazy” Also applicable to Goths, Spaniards, Corsicans, Swiss, Belgians, everybody except himself!
Julius Caesar, “Veni Vidi Vici” , “Et tu Brute!”
Roman Legionary (after he gets clobbered by gauls) “ Join the army they said,… it’s a man’s life they said”
Cacofonix (before he is clobbered by Fulliautomatix) “To mark this occasion I would like to sing an ode”

Jim MacLaren- Attitude that Inspires

2005-12-20T01:19:00.000-08:00

Whenever you think you have had a really bad day, you need to picture Jim MacLaren in his wheelchair. I am not saying that we should count our blessings because infact Jim MacLaren is the definition of inspiration.

James E. MacLaren, born April 13, 1963, has survived two near fatal accidents. His uncanny ability to articulate his life story with humor and compassion invites others to reach for the best in themselves. Jim lives his life pushing limitations – using challenge to deepen his capacity to live and appreciate life more fully. At 14, Jim left home. At 21, he graduated from Yale a scholar, promising actor and 6’-5” 300-pound defensive lineman. At 22, Jim was hit by a New York City bus, thrown some 80 feet, pronounced dead on arrival at Bellevue Hospital, and his life stabilized after 18 hours of surgery. Thirteen days after waking from a coma, he began a grueling, three-month rehabilitation, after the doctors told him he’d be in a hospital bed for six months and that there was no medical reason he should be alive. In addition to the numerous internal injuries, Jim lost his left leg eight inches below the knee.The accident prompted Jim to overcome what others might have accepted as insurmountable limitation. He was accepted to and graduated from the Yale School of Drama, and landed a part on the soap opera “Another World.” He started competing in running events for the pure exhilaration of it. Pushing himself to see what his body could do, Jim competed for seven years. He holds the record as the fastest amputee marathon runner and triathlete in the world. He holds the Hawaii Ironman (2.4 miles swim, 112 mile bike ride, 26.2 mile run) record for an amputee with a time of 10 hours, 42 minutes. He often finished in the top third of able-bodied athletes.

On June 6, 1993, during the biking portion of a triathlon in Orange County, Jim was hit by a van and thrown headfirst into a lamppost. He broke his C5 vertebra and was diagnosed quadriplegic. In the ambulance, not feeling his legs, before he knew he was paralyzed, Jim mused about competing in a wheel chair.

Again, Jim bounced back. Because the injury to his spinal cord was incomplete, he regained partial use of his limbs and independence. MacLaren had no feeling from the chest down after his second injury, but over time he has regained some feeling. He can now walk very short distances.

In light of the tragedies that befell him, McLaren's greatest example might be his attitude.
“This all may be totally unfair, and that's true,” he said. “And so what? Life's unfair for a lot of us. Every moment isn't happy. When life presses down on us, you can bounce back with a deeper sense of being.” The motivation for dealing with the two accidents that so shaped his life, MacLaren, with a smile creasing his face, said, “There are only two things I'll say I know after everything. You never know what our life's going to look like. And everything's going to be all right. I believe that.”

He has recently formed the Choose Living Foundation. The foundation was established to support his philanthropic work and allow him to contribute his time, energy, resources and newfound exposure to help people in need across the world. The Choose Living Foundation supports any different organizations, including the San Diego, CA. based Challenged Athletes Foundation and the work being done to help disabled people in Ghana by Emmanuel Ofasu Yeboah. Jim will continue his support of Camp Good Days and Special Times, the largest children’s cancer camp in the nation.

For more information on this amazing human being see http://www.jimmaclaren.com/